Image: Day 8, Mt Glorious Lookout, D’Aguilar National Park, overlooking Lake Wivenhoe
Today marks one week since returning to Oz. After more than 8 years in London I’ve come home to my Sunshine State and it has delivered everything from weather, nature and wildlife to amazing views and adventures in the great outdoors.
We’ve been fresh water swimming, bush walking around some lakes and relaxing by others, driving around national parks and soaking up that Queensland summer feeling – although I’m fully aware it is only spring! This all still feels like a holiday, like a dream and like I will soon have to wake and return to London life.
It has taken one week for me to finally stop dreaming each night that I’m still in London, waking each morning feeling anxious about the decision to come back, feeling like I left my identity back in Stoke Newington shivering in the British autumn. It’s a strange feeling when you are in that nowhere place with nothing but your raw self, when you are in transition.
Today is the first day since arriving that I have been able to fully inhale without the tight restricting grip of anxiety around my chest, that I have been able to be so present in the moment my chest fills with this warm fluttering and I burst into smiles. I’m not stranger to this in-between state but it feels different this time. Either that or I am noticing it now more than previous times.
Perhaps the life I left behind had such a great impact on me personally that it just feels so much harder, like I had so much more to lose. On the other hand I’m feeling liberated in this transient state with this feeling of pure self. To hone in on this feeling means I can develop so much, I can begin to create before me the life I aspire to, to truly connect to that self and be present. I’m feeling immensely grateful for the last 8.5 years in London and for this opportunity before me.